WHAT SHAPE ARE YOU?

There are three kinds of surfaces.

Things stay on a plane surface for some time and then go away after a while. Convex Surfaces do not collect anything. You put them in the rain outside and everything

slips off of them; they remain dry. Concave surfaces collect whatever falls on them. If you leave a concave surface like a saucer outside in the rain, it will be full of water. Some people are like convex surfaces. Whatever problem comes, it slides off of them and they remain dry. People complain about their insensitivity. On the other hand, some people are concave. They collect problems, even the smallest ones. They are like a plate collecting rainwater and they do not let the water go. The water stays until it stagnates. They keep on worrying about whatever they collected. They have a habit of collecting the negative things that happen to them and they don’t let it go, so they become negative and wallow in complaints.

Do not be insensitive to others’ needs like a convex surface. Do not collect stinking water like a concave surface. Instead, be more like a plane surface: decide what should stay with you and what should not.”

AN UNCUT DIAMOND

When we begin a new relationship, it's like finding an uncut diamond. It looks like a common piece of glass. If you toss it into the garbage, it will become part of the garbage. How much the diamond radiates and sparkles depends on how much genuine effort and time goes into cutting and polishing it. 

Your new neighbor, new girl or boyfriend, new spouse or child is an uncut diamond. How these relationships grow or progress depends on how much time, thought and effort you have put into them. Be attentive, continue polishing your relationships and they will sparkle. Diamond cutters examine and then see the potential beauty within the raw stone. Now with clear expectations of what the diamond can be, the diamond cutter makes it so. It's similar with people and relationships. People, especially young people and children, will live up to or down to our expectations of them. 

BE THERE!

When asked by a newspaper reporter to explain his theory of relativity for the public, Albert Einstein replied that one minute a man spends kissing his girlfriend will pass much faster than if he had to spend the same length of time sitting atop a hot stove. 

We have all had experiences that have proven Einstein's theory to be accurate. When we are doing something we enjoy, we experience time distortion. Time seems to pass quickly. Conversely, when engaged in something we don't particularly care for, time is definitely distorted in that even ten minutes can feel like hours! How then can we use Einstein's theory to our advantage? One way is through practicing and cultivating mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply being totally present in what you are doing. It's when we are truly absorbed in what we're doing, in the moment, time seems to pass quickly. Suppose you must wash dishes and you never like washing dishes. Apply mindfulness.  Be totally in the experience. Tell yourself, "for the next fifteen minutes I'm going to wash the dishes. There is no other place I need to be, nothing else I need to be doing right now." Then as you turn on the water to begin, direct your attention to what you can hear at that moment while washing dishes, i.e. the sound of the water running, water splashing in the sink, squeaky sound of a clean plate, sound of your breathing, etc. Next, focus your attention on what you can feel, i.e. the temperature of the water, smooth silky feeling of a clean plate, the texture of the dish cloth and the dish washing liquid, the soap bubbles, etc. Then shift your attention to what you see, i.e. the colors reflected in the soap bubbles, the change in appearance of your hands the longer they are in the water, a glistening clean plate, etc. Continue to redirect your attention to what you can see, hear and feel in the moment. This mindfulness approach places and keeps us in the present moment. When truly in the present moment, time feels like it passes ever so much more quickly. Apply these simple principles of mindfulness in everything you do. Start simple, but start. Your joy for life, even when engaged in unpleasant responsibilities, will steadily increase. The Rock band 'The Who' stated it simply this way, "No matter where you go, there you are." Be where you are, absorbed fully in the moment. Unpleasant or dreaded activities will become more tolerable and then actually pleasant. Originally pleasant activities will become even more rich and enjoyable.  Where are you right now? BE THERE!

NO SECOND CHANCE

Throughout our lives we are given many second chances. If we get speeding tickets while driving, instead of immediately loosing our license we get a second chance in the form of traffic school. Fail an exam in school, often one is given the opportunity to retake the exam or retake the course. One area where we are often denied a second chance is when we have been unkind toward another person. Often when traveling or vacationing we may be unkind to someone. It may be a server in a diner, a person at a hotel, someone at a theme park, just about anywhere. These are people we will most likely never encounter again in our life.  The result is no second chance to be kind. I recommend making kindness a daily habit. Be kind in every situation and toward everyone you encounter. Being kind cultivates happiness and a greater sense of fulfillment in our lives and allows us to avoid the regret that comes with no second chance. If a family member, friend, coworker or anyone in your life should die unexpectedly and your last interaction with them was unkind, what torment you will carry the remainder of your days. To restate simply, I recommend kindness. 

A SOAP DISPENSER

There are soap dispensers on the wall in restrooms. Press the plunger and it provides just enough liquid soap to wash your hands. A defective soap dispenser drips soap on the floor and drips and pours too much soap on your hands. Defective soap dispensers are thrown away. We should be like a good soap dispenser with our suggestions, advice and criticisms. Keep them to yourself unless asked. Don't keep leaking soap and telling people what they should do. They will discard you if your advice leaks out. Be exact with your advice when asked. Don't overflow and dribble your suggestions all over others precious time. People don't like to hear lectures about what they are doing wrong or how to live their lives. 

I REALLY DON'T KNOW

This morning I started my day quite early with a trip to Walmart at 4:00 am. It was the only time I had to make the necessary purchases. When I pulled into the mostly vacant Walmart parking lot, I selected a parking space near the store entrance. After parking my vehicle, I opened the door to exit and there on the ground near my car was a nice dinner spoon and a formal looking cloth napkin. I thought,"what would these obviously very expensive items be doing in a Walmart parking lot?" I then imagined a handsome couple who had been to a formal dinner and kept a spoon and napkin as a souvenir.  They needed something and since it was so late in the evening, they went to Walmart. Something sparked an argument and one of them, in frustration and anger, tossed the items out the car window. No, probably not. Perhaps it was an employee of a catering company who had just worked a large formal dinner. Yeah, that's it. He comes from very humble means and took the items so he would have something nice for himself at home. He stopped by Walmart to pick up something on the way home. He started thinking about what he had done... stealing. The guilt got to him and he discarded the items in the parking lot. No, that's not likely. Oh, I know, maybe it was a family who had been to dinner at a nice restaurant. One of the children took the spoon and napkin  unbeknown to his parents as an act of rebellion. The family stopped by Walmart on the way home and the parents purchased a new iPhone   for the kid that he had really been wanting. Realizing their parents really did listen to them and love then, they dropped the spoon and napkin in the parking lot as they got back into the car. They did not want to create a scene at home or disappoint their parents. 

I then got to thinking, I really have no idea how the spoon and napkin got there. So often in our lives we create unnecessary stress for ourselves because we try to draw conclusions on something based on information we don't have. We can reduce a great deal of stress, trouble and conflict in our lives if we will simply be honest in those moments and admit to ourselves, "I really don't know,"

IMPOSSIBLE?

I have the privilege of spending time everyday with my youngest grandchild.  I've watched this busy one year old as she is confronted with challenges and obstacles. I enjoy watching as this new little mind attempts to solve problems. She is so creative in her approaches and I began pondering this intriguing demonstration. It then occurred to me that she has yet to learn the concept of impossible. Because of this, her thinking is unlimited. Have we allowed the concept of impossible to limit our thinking, our problem solving? What would happen if we removed the concept  from our thinking?

Where would I possibly find enough leather with which to cover the surface of the earth? Yet wearing leather, just on the soles of my shoes is equivalent to covering the earth with it.