THANK YOU

Did someone help you today? Did someone assist you, a store clerk, a server in a restaurant,  an employee, a family member, a spouse? Did someone show you kindness? Did you have opportunities to express your appreciation to someone today... but you didn't? Do you assume that the people around you know that you appreciate what they do? Genuinely show or express your appreciation. It's a proper and powerful way to impact the world around you. 

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. 

SOME LIFE LESSONS

When we are no longer able to change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Here are ten life lessons that may be if some help. 

 1. Being happy is not about what we achieve. 

 2. We are all doing our best.

 3. We have to know and respect our deal breakers.

 4. Other people's actions aren't about us.

 5. We need to trust our intuition.

 6. All the studying in the world will never be enough. 

 7. Face the scary stuff.

 8. Accept that life and people are inconsistent. 

 9. We can be our own best friend.

10. We are enough. 

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

A national storage company in the United States uses the slogan, "We'll treat your stuff like its our stuff." Before I entrust them with my "stuff", I want to see just how they actually treat their "stuff". For several years in my work I accompanied Social Workers on visits to homes in the community where families and individuals  were having various challenges. I've seen how many people treat their "stuff"! I must say, that a lot of people don't take very good care of or treat their "stuff" very well. A national restaurant chain uses the slogan, "We treat you like family." What if I came from a dysfunctional or abusive family? Would that slogan be very inviting to me? The words we use have meaning based on our life's experience. If we don't have a shared life experience then the same words could have very different meanings. "I'll be there in a minute." To some people that means I'll be there in 60 seconds or less. To other people, that means I'll be there in ten or fifteen minutes. I've come to learn that a key to effective communication is this, "The meaning of the communication is the response you get!" This may be different from the one you intended. There are no failures in communication, only responses or feedback. If you're not getting the response you intended, do something different. It's not their responsibility to figure out what you mean. It's your responsibility to ensure they understand what you intended. How about this slogan, "We stand behind everything we sell." That's a little frightening. 

MINDFULNESS OR APPRECIATION?

I've written previously about 'Living in the Moment' and 'Mindfulness'. It is a way to greatly reduce stress in your life as well as cultivate greater joy. It also brings your mind into focus in a way that grants you full access to all of your natural abilities as well as your, experience, education and training. For some, the steps to bring the mind back into the present moment seem too cumbersome or they feel they wouldn't be able to do it. There is another way to the state of mindfulness that applies all the steps but in a natural, almost effortless, way. The way? Wherever you are right now, whatever you're doing, take a moment and look around. Find something to appreciate. It doesn't matter what it is, - the pattern the light makes as it falls across the floor or ground, the sound of the wind in the trees or the air coming through the ventilation that provides coolness. The act of appreciating brings your attention to where you are right now. Even briefly pondering things you appreciate in your present environment activates the mind and your thoughts to take stock of the elements... what you see, hear and feel regarding the thing appreciated. Now, ... there you are... present, mindful, thankful... appreciating. 

I THOUGHT I KNEW BEST

Some years ago, my wife taught me the fine art of making a peanut butter and jelly (PB&J) sandwich.  Up until that time, I thought I knew how to make a PB&J sandwich. One simply selects two slices of bread, spread peanut butter liberally on one slice and spread jelly on the other slice. Put the two slices together and there you have it. Oh Contrar! Here is how she taught me to make the sandwich. Take the two slices of bread and spread peanut butter on both, then spread jelly on one of the slices on top of the peanut butter. Put the slices together (you're not finished yet). With the bread slices together there is a slight gap between the slices all around the circumference of the sandwich. You carefully fill this gap with peanut butter. I thought that was a lot of unnecessary work for a simple PB&J sandwich. She then explained, with peanut butter on both slices of bread, the  bread doesn't become soggy from the jelly. By filling in the gap around the edge of the sandwich, jelly doesn't ooze out and make a mess. 

I thought I knew how to make a PB&J sandwich, and I did. But my wife showed me an even better way. There may be something you feel you do very well. Maybe it could be done even better. Be willing to learn, humble enough to listen, and curious enough to ask questions. 

FLY OR BEE?

A honeybee is attracted to flowers. A housefly is attracted to trash. There tends to be two kinds of people in life. There are people who look for and find the goodness in others. Then there are those who seem to automatically look for and identify the flaws in people. What is your natural tendency? What kind of person are you?  You can BEE the person who is a blessing and inspiration to others. You can also FLY into a negative inventory with everyone you meet and pull them down and impede their progress as well as your own. 

PROBLEM? HANDLE IT!

If your sofa rips open and a spring is sticking out, you either have to fix the sofa or replace it with a new one. If you don’t, the spring can cause injuries to you or your family and friends. Either fix the spring or get rid of the sofa. The same thing goes for relationships. If you have a relationship with someone and see problems developing, it would be a good idea to talk about the problem, try to find a resolution.  If you still can’t fix it, maybe it’s time to replace the sofa so no more injuries are caused by something broken.