FAMILIAR ATTRACTION

FAMILIAR ATTRACTION 

Another unique way our brain works is that as human beings it is in our nature to be attracted to that which is familiar. People remain in unhealthy relationships because that is what they know. We also have a natural fear of the unknown. So often, we will continue in misery because we believe, " the hell I know is better than the hell I don't know." Abused children often run away from foster care back to the home of abuse because that is what they know and therefore there is no uncertainty. A person may wonder why they continually get into relationships with the same type of unhealthy person.  They  are attracted to people who turn out to be controlling, an alcoholic, abusive, etc. It is being attracted to that which is familiar. We have been taught for years that the strongest inner need of man is the need to survive. I believe our strongest need is to seek out that which is familiar. It doesn't take long when looking at clouds to begin seeing shapes of things 'we know'. 

How do we take control of our brain? How do we break the cycle of being drawn to negative or hurtful familiar things? Stated simply, we need to change that which is familiar. This can be accomplished by taking small intentional steps outside our comfort or familiar zones and learn new things. Read about people or situations with descriptions of behaviors and values that are new to you. Visit groups and places with people who are different from your typical experience. Take some time and evaluate past relationships and situations  identifying common elements. Those are the familiar things. Once you are 'aware' of what it is that's 'familiar' you know where to begin to make changes. That's half the battle. Change one element in an equation and the answer or outcome will change. Take control of your brain by "changing" the things that are "familiar" to you.