DEFINING MOMENTS

         DEFINING MOMENTS

The caterpillar goes about its business, and lives the life that it knows, the life of the caterpillar. At some point in its life, it begins to build a cocoon around itself. It closes itself off from the outside world for a little while... closes itself off from outside influences and opinions. And while it is inside the darkness, it becomes acquainted with its true self, and out of this true self, without anything being added from the outside, without any special education from the external, comes the butterfly!

We each have within us the potential of greatness! To be someone totally unique with amazing and specific talents. There comes a time in our lives when we must choose. Whether to be what circumstances, opportunities or the lack thereof, and those around us say we should be, or... we can become still, and listen. Seek within ourselves and discover the unequaled person we are meant to be. It's a DEFINING MOMENT in our life!

SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS

  SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS

It’s one of the simplest and most powerful principles on the planet. Can be applied remarkably quickly to most    

situations. Works really well and gives disproportionate    

rewards. If you are not using this as part of problem    

solving, goal achievement or planning process; you are missing out. In fact you are almost certainly expressing    

too much energy, and getting less than optimal results. 

The principle I’m referring to? The Pareto principle also known as the 80/20 rule. In it’s most basic form it says: 

80% of the output is produced by 20% of the inputs. 80% of the consequences are generated by 20% of the causes. 80% of the results are created by 20% of the efforts. You’ve probably heard that before. But have you asked yourself: 

  "Which 20% of my actions are creating 80% of the results I experience on a day to day basis?" Let that question sink in. Even further. When you do, you will start to see    

opportunities to work less and get more, far more often. 

The name of the game becomes...  How can I get greater return with less effort and having more fun? 

Thankfully you don’t need to have super-powers to be able to leverage this law. It requires only that you become more curious about cause and effect… causation and    

consequence in your own life. 

And willing to do a little thinking up front. The great news is, this law can be applied anywhere. For example take the context of a personal    

problem you are facing. 

If you’ve got an area you are struggling with, ask yourself: 

Which 20% of my actions are creating 80% of my problems? This powerful question presupposes that there    

are a small set of actions that are generating a disproportionate part of the    

problem. And guides your super-smart brain to dial in    

on those. Are you doing a lot and getting little in return? Are little actions/behaviors causing you major problems? Could a small or simple change make big differences in your life?Make a change. Simply do something different. By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. 

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

In learning to control our own brain, it's important to understand why we do what we do. A significant aspect of that is what motivates you. What is it that gets us to do the things we want to do and the things we must do but maybe don't really want to do? That would be motivation. 

As human beings, the way our brain works is, we are motivated in one of two ways. We are either motivated by moving 'toward' something we desire / want or we are motivated by moving 'away' from something we don't want / desire and are seeking to avoid. Some people are motivated to get up out of bed and get to work to 'avoid' being fired from their job. Other individuals are motivated to get up and get going because they look forward to the work they do. Some people buy flowers for a significant other on their birthday to 'avoid' an argument for having forgotten or disappointing them. Others buy flowers for their significant other because they love to see the surprise in their face or enjoy the feeling of making them happy.

Take control of your brain by becoming aware of how you are motivated. Then start choosing how you will be motivated. Assess the different areas of your life. How are you currently being motivated? Are you moving 'toward' something desired or 'away' from something feared or undesirable? Negative motivation robs our creativity and reduces our quality of life. We can change the nature of motivation by changing our thinking. Maybe you don't like your job, but you enjoy the freedom the paycheck gives you. Explore that area as a beginning to a shift in motivation. The moving 'toward' motivation is most powerful and continually opens new vistas in life. It gives you greater flexibility and control in your life. 

So, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT 

Our brain / mind is forward moving / thinking. It is always moving in the direction of our dominant thought. A key principle of controlling our own brain is to focus on getting the brain to "do" something, not "stop" doing something. If I say to you,"don't think of the color blue". What is the first thing you do? You think of the color blue in order not to think of the color blue. So then it's too late. Instead, if I said,"think of the color green." What do you do? You think of the color green. Control the direction of your thinking by continually thinking of what you want, not of what you don't want. If someone says to you,"now, don't be angry but..." What does your mind do? It immediately accesses being angry. Once again, it's too late.  My son used to spill his milk all the time. I was continually telling him," son, don't spill your milk!" What was I actually doing? I was ensuring he'd spill his milk. When I changed what I was saying to, "son, keep your milk in the glass unless you're drinking it." Amazingly, the spills stopped! The principle, get the mind to "do" something not "stop" doing something. Focus on what you really want, not on what you don't want. 

OUR BRAIN

               OUR BRAIN

I think it's safe to say that we all have a brain. I think we all also know of someone who causes us to wonder if they have a brain. Our brain operates according to some basic universal principles. When we are not directing our thoughts and running our own brain, our brain is being programmed  and run by someone or something else. Other people's comments may be running our brain, we may be continually reacting to their spoken expectations. Television and radio may be determining how we feel. It's as if someone else is driving our bus. They may have the best of intentions but they may not be driving where we want to go. It's time to take back control of your own life. We can do this by first learning how our brain works. Then applying the principles in our own lives. We can choose how to feel. We can decide to change a behavior. We can decide who and how we want to be and become that person. Over the next few days, I'll share some basic principles of how our brains work. You can test / apply them right away and experience the amazing results. It's time to drive your own bus!  It's time to start using our brains for a change. 

A THOUGHT ON THOUGHTS

  A THOUGHT ON THOUGHTS

A small and simple thing that is very powerful is a thought. The thing to remember about thoughts is that we become what we think about most of the time. Where you are today, what you are today, is the sum total of all the thoughts that you've had. If you remember, feelings, actions, outcomes, they all start with thoughts. So what you've thought up until now has got you to where you are today. That same process is working right now second by second, this very moment.  If you want to make a change, you need to change what you're thinking, and how you're thinking. An important fact is that what dominates your thoughts influences your results. What you think about most is affecting your results. Now here's where it gets real interesting. A simple yet extremely powerful key is that you've got to start thinking about what you're thinking about. We do this by asking ourselves questions like, "Why do I think that?" "Why am I saying that?" "Why do I feel like this in this situation?" "How do I feel about feeling angry?" "How do I feel about feeling frustrated?" So the place to begin is to start thinking about what you are thinking about!

ENERGY IN WORDS

ENERGY IN WORDS

A small and simple thing that is very powerful in each of our lives is our choice of words. The words we use create our world and make us who we are. Words possess power, they create focus and release energy. As we hear the words we ourselves speak, we ensure their fulfillment through our emotions and behavior. Our words define our thoughts, our thoughts generate our emotions, these in turn determine our behavior. We can change who we are by changing what we say. As we enjoy these changes, we can make them permanent through repetition. As we change, our world changes. The simple truth is, as we change our words, we change our world and the way we experience life. 

CHUNKING DOWN

CHUNKING DOWN

We have been addressing change and making simple changes in our lives. We are generally resistant to change, and are too intelligent to put in any work without a good reason. It's important to have a reason for making a change  because change usually means work. But without change...nothing changes! As we have recently been discovering, a small or simple step can generate a big result. When the decision was made to put a man on the moon, it wasn't done in one giant leap. It was a succession of small simple steps, that together, resulted in a great accomplishment. In their thinking, they started from the moon, the goal, and worked backwards. This is also effective when applied to our goals. What is your goal? What will it look, sound and feel like when you reach the goal? Now, working backwards, what steps need to be taken to get from your goal to where you are right now? This is breaking the process down into smaller, doable, steps. Breaking the journey down into smaller, simple steps is known as chunking down. Perhaps a different way to state it would be, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

THE BIG LITTLE CHANGE

THE BIG LITTLE CHANGE 

Today my routine day ended in a very non-routine way. My day ended with an unscheduled visit to my dentist. There, it was my privilege to experience the joy of tooth extraction. My dentist removed a molar that had served me well for several decades. In recent weeks, the molar had become a source of pain several times when I would bite down to eat. It had become abscessed two or three times. Ultimately, it was painful all the time and was constantly oozing infection. What had at one time been a reliable and valuable servant, was now an impediment and source of pain. In order to remain healthy, I had to have the tooth removed. It was a painful experience, but I'm now free of a source of pain and infection in my life. I can now press on with life. 

Like my tooth, at some time in our lives, we will all have to acknowledge that something that had once served us well is now impeding our life and our progress. It could be an old habit learned early in life. Perhaps a friendship that has turned infectious. Acknowledge that it must go, and remove it! A little thing, once removed, can be a big change in our life. A big little change. 

SIMPLE IMPROVEMENTS

SIMPLE IMPROVEMENTS 

A subtle, even small change, can often result in significant change and over all improvement. Something as simple as changing the way we tie our shoes creates new neural pathways in our brains. These new nerve pathways generate new feelings and thoughts. As we make these small changes, we push the limits of our comfort zones. The fear signal that comes up when you are outside your comfort zone is a signal to be "aware" and not "beware". Fear is part of the process of change. The simplest things in life feel uncomfortable until you get used to them. It's important to continue when we feel uncomfortable. It's so often not that we "can't"do things, it's that we "won't" do them. 

PREPARATION

PREPARATION 

“If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.”               Abraham Lincoln

There is great wisdom in this quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln. It reminds us of the importance of preparation. A very important way to prepare when implementing new behaviors in our lives is to imagine ourselves behaving in the new way first. This mental practice allows the new behavior to become more natural before the actually situation or event. The simple act of mental rehearsal prepares us to be at our best. Take time to sharpen the axe. 

COMFORT ZONE

            COMFORT ZONES

One of the greatest challenges to making changes in our lives is dealing with Comfort Zones. What do I mean? We all operate, day to day, within parameters with which we are comfortable. They can be social, emotional even situational. In every area of our life, we have established a type of safety zone. This zone is made up of what we will and are willing to do in these areas of our lives. Much has been said and written about change and how we must get out of our comfort zones in order to change. I disagree! A wise and effective approach to change is to extend or expand our comfort zones. You don't have to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. Begin by walking to the edge of the pan. What I'm suggesting is that there is nothing wrong with taking baby steps towards change. It doesn't have to be all at once. Making changes incrementally will still get you to your desired outcome. By expanding your comfort zone, once change is achieved, it's already part of you and a natural response. 

NO ONE LIKE YOU

Making changes improving our lives should be a very rewarding experience. As we take simple steps to accomplish the changes, we allow ourselves to relax more and be ourselves. It's so important to be genuine. Be the unique individual you were created to be. You possess a combination of gifts and talents that are unique to you and you alone. When you live true to yourself, you experience freedom. No more pretending to be someone you are not. No more looking over your shoulder in fear of being discovered by others to be a fraud. Don't be afraid of being yourself. It brings joy to your day and real happiness to your life. 

FIX IT!

Y                FIX IT!

Making changes as part of the New year involves learning new simple ways to change, and resolving old ever present problems once and for all

A man decided late one day that a very tall tree in the yard had to go. He was tired of cleaning up after it all the time.  His yard was a mess because of it.  So, he decided to cut it down. Now, he had a chain saw, but not the right size.  If you're going to cut down a big tree you need a big chain saw. He thought,"I have a small saw so it is going to take a long time."  Well, it got dark.  he was determined to finish the job. Then he stood up to see how big around the trunk was. He kept cutting away at that tree piece by piece.  He knew exactly where it was going to fall and when. Then he sat down. There was one problem, he didn't have all the facts. The first thing about taking care of a problem you have is to know the problem inside and out.  I mean if you are going to rid yourself of a problem that has been causing you trouble

get rid of all of it.The only way you can do it is to know all the details and as stated earlier, have the right tools.

So far he knew he didn't have the right tools.  That was causing new problems.  Like taking too much time. Finally he got to the very last chunk of tree and could hear the cracking sound of a falling tree. He couldn't believe it.  It was actually falling exactly where he wanted it to go, he thought with a big smile.

So, what was the problem?Have you ever cut down a tree? Ah, there was a problem.  You see, it was HUGE!" He never considered how big the tree was.  From the base

looking up he knew it was tall.  But he didn't know how tall.

When it fell exactly where he wanted it to fall, it fell "longer" 

than he thought it would.

It crashed and then all he heard was screeching car brakes.

It actually fell onto the highway.

Sure this is simply a story about a man cutting down a big tree, but it has a far reaching lesson we can all apply to our lives.

Four important steps when facing a problem

1.  Be prepared.

2.  Have the right tools.

3.  Find out ALL the facts.

4.  Be ready for it to be bigger than you thought. Because like trees problems can have deep roots and reach higher and wider than you imagined.

"How big is your tree?"

CHANGE IT!

                CHANGE IT!

It's amazing to me that as complex as we know the human brain to be, it can only process one emotion at a time. You can't feel two different ways in the same moment or at the same time. You may vacillate rapidly between two feelings but you experience only one feeling at a time. Knowing this, we can develop creative ways to change how we are feeling. If you are experiencing an emotion you don't want, do something you know, that for you, elicits a different feeling or emotion. If you find yourself driving and stuck in slow moving or even stopped traffic and begin stressing or feeling  anxious, try singing the national anthem out loud. Notice what that does to the way you are feeling. Try this or something similar. You can take control of your emotions.  The important thing to remember is that we can experience only one emotion at a time. Don't like what you're feeling? Change it!

KEEPING EMOTIONS SIMPLE

 KEEPING EMOTIONS SIMPLE

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does!

The past few days we have been addressing the topic of change. We've also been addressing the fact that it is by small and simple things that great things are brought to pass.  We all want to be a better person in this new year and we'd like to be more successful as well. We allow ourselves to become overwhelmed when we think of personal change and generating success according to our personal definition. As human beings, so much of what we do and even the decisions we make we make based on how or what we are feeling. Our emotions are a major driving force in our lives. It's important to remember that our emotions are directly connected to our thoughts. We can control our thoughts if we choose to. By directing our thoughts we can control our emotions. As we choose our thoughts and consider our interactions with other people, it's important to remember that we all view and experience life differently. We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. Many people view this as a major obstacle to having a happy life. Every event and situation of life has within in tremendous potential for good and a positive outcome. We must first choose to look for it until we see it. The activities, events and happenings in our lives are all neutral emotionally. They do not have emotion or feelings attached or assigned to them. It is when we view, see or experience them that we generate and assign emotion to them. Why else can two people have the same exact experience yet have totally different feelings / emotions about it?  Here now is another small and simple action to apply in our lives that will bring tremendous results.  Our thoughts determine our emotions. Thoughts become increasingly powerful the more attention we give them. If you don't want to feel down or sad, don't give attention to the thoughts that result in those emotions. Give your attention to the thoughts that inspire you, the thoughts that result in happy or what you would call good emotions. It's amazing how doing this small simple thing results in such amazing changes and outcomes. After a brief period of practice, it becomes a natural response and you don't have to consciously focus on it as much. It's a small and simple thing, but oh the power for change it packs!

CHANGE VIA BELIEF

CHANGE VIA BELIEF 

Your vision or mental estimate of yourself activates your subconscious mind and compels you to be all that you imagine yourself to be. Remember that of the two aspects of the mind, the subconscious is the most powerful. The mind is often compared to an iceberg. The conscious mind, our present awareness, is like the section above the surface of the water. The subconscious is like the section under or beneath the surface of the water. It is vastly more powerful. It controls and regulates your breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, blood temperature, all the body processes and functions that seem automatic. It is also the part of the mind where real change takes place. What you give your attention to magnifies and multiplies exceedingly. Think rich and riches follow, think poverty and poverty follows. The law of life is the law if belief. To believe is to sincerely accept something as true. Believe in the abundant life, the happy life, the successful life, and live in the joyous expectancy of the best, and invariably the best will come to you. Remember that conditions and circumstances are not creative, you, in your own thoughts, are creative; the creative power is in your thought and feeling rather than in the false and limiting suggestions of externalities. You are not a victim of circumstances or happenings, except as you believe you are. You go where your vision is. Hold a mental picture of what you want to accomplish and back it up with feeling and enthusiasm, and it will come to pass!

TO TERRIFIC AND BEYOND!

TO TERRIFIC AND BEYOND!

So, how have you been? TERRIFIC I hope. 

We are greatly affected by every word we hear. Even the words that come from us! We hear every word we speak and it has a direct and immediate impact on our thoughts and feelings. Something as small and simple as a "word" can bring great things into our lives.  Listen to yourself, carefully with meticulous attention, and. become conscious of the amazing number of doleful, negative remarks you "automatically" make. Be honest with yourself and ask, "Do I believe that, or am I mouthing negativisms that I do not really believe at all? Practice saying exactly the opposite of what you might usually say, and note how much better it sounds and how much better you feel. Also become aware of the change in your posture. With confident and upbeat language comes healthy and appropriate posture. This in turn affects how we feel and the thoughts we choose. Keep track of all the good things that happen. Express gratitude for the good things you enjoy. Note even the smallest results, how much nicer and better life becomes. Finally, put the best meaning and construction on each person and every action each day....then, you'll begin to feel new enthusiasm for your job, greater respect and appreciation for yourself, and you'll start living more of a "terrific" life. 

TRANSFORMATION BEGINS

TRANSFORMATION BEGINS 

I know that by small and simple things great things are brought to pass! So many of us want a better life, better relationships and even simply want to feel better but we don't take steps to have those things because it takes so much work. Well, that is the fallacy! It is in this type of thinking that we have been mislead. We have bought into the idea that we won't see or feel any real change in our life until we've put in a great deal of work for a very long time. That's just malarkey!

I am going to show you, or rather your going to show yourself, that small and simple things can bring amazing results. 

Beginning right now and for the next week, every time someone asks you,"How are you?" I want you to respond by saying,"I'm TERRIFIC!" Yes, it may seem odd or awkward at first, but you will begin to feel different very quickly. By different, I mean you are going to begin to feel better, more upbeat. Also, when you awaken in the morning, and every morning, I want you to sit up in your bed, and before you do anything else, I want you to say to yourself, aloud, "I FEEL TERRIFIC!" 

Begin now with this small and simple thing. I promise you, if you will do it, you will experience results rather quickly.  Respond to everyone with,"I'm terrific!" And sit up in bed first thing upon awakening and say out loud,"I feel terrific!" I'll share more powerful small and simple things tomorrow. 

NEW YEAR WITH CHANGE

NEW YEAR WITH CHANGE

We have all embarked on a new year. Many of you are thinking that the day didn't seem any different than previous days. The reality is that every day is pretty much the same. It is within our power to make the day different. When we make our days different, we make our lives different. It sounds simple because, well, it is simple. Small things, small actions, can cause great things to happen. We all know that doing the same things again and again will result in the same result or outcome again and again. If we want a different outcome, we need to do something different. To change the final answer in a long mathematical equation, we need only change one element.  To change our lives we need to change one simple thing we do every day. Are you ready for change? Are you seeking change? Is it really that simple? Can a small simple change result in a major life change? YES! Over the next few days we will explore the power of small simple actions.