BRAIN LANGUAGE

      BRAIN LANGUAGE 

In order to take control of our brain, we need to understand the language of the brain. Our brain processes all input via our five senses. We label and process our experience as pictures (visual) sounds (auditory) feelings (kinesthetic) taste and smell (olfactory). We have each developed a primary representational system. Some of us think primarily in pictures, some think primarily in feelings and so on. The system we use determines the words we choose. A visual person may be heard to say," I see what you're saying." "I can picture that." A kinesthetic person may be heard to say,"I'm not comfortable with that." I feel good about that." It's important to become aware of your brain language and the brain language of others. When two primarily visual persons talk, they establish quick rapport and they easily understand each other. When a visual person and and a auditory person talk, they are literally speaking two different languages and have a more difficult time understanding each other. Once you've learned to shift your language to that of the person with whom you are speaking, you have great control over your own life. You also know how to better communicate with yourself. Ask someone to describe their living room. A visual person will draw you a picture in words of the rooms layout and furniture appearance. A feeling oriented person will use words describing how the room feels and the feel of the furnishings. Be aware of brain language. It gives you back greater control on your life. 

FAMILIAR ATTRACTION

FAMILIAR ATTRACTION 

Another unique way our brain works is that as human beings it is in our nature to be attracted to that which is familiar. People remain in unhealthy relationships because that is what they know. We also have a natural fear of the unknown. So often, we will continue in misery because we believe, " the hell I know is better than the hell I don't know." Abused children often run away from foster care back to the home of abuse because that is what they know and therefore there is no uncertainty. A person may wonder why they continually get into relationships with the same type of unhealthy person.  They  are attracted to people who turn out to be controlling, an alcoholic, abusive, etc. It is being attracted to that which is familiar. We have been taught for years that the strongest inner need of man is the need to survive. I believe our strongest need is to seek out that which is familiar. It doesn't take long when looking at clouds to begin seeing shapes of things 'we know'. 

How do we take control of our brain? How do we break the cycle of being drawn to negative or hurtful familiar things? Stated simply, we need to change that which is familiar. This can be accomplished by taking small intentional steps outside our comfort or familiar zones and learn new things. Read about people or situations with descriptions of behaviors and values that are new to you. Visit groups and places with people who are different from your typical experience. Take some time and evaluate past relationships and situations  identifying common elements. Those are the familiar things. Once you are 'aware' of what it is that's 'familiar' you know where to begin to make changes. That's half the battle. Change one element in an equation and the answer or outcome will change. Take control of your brain by "changing" the things that are "familiar" to you. 

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT

LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT 

Our brain / mind is forward moving / thinking. It is always moving in the direction of our dominant thought. A key principle of controlling our own brain is to focus on getting the brain to "do" something, not "stop" doing something. If I say to you,"don't think of the color blue". What is the first thing you do? You think of the color blue in order not to think of the color blue. So then it's too late. Instead, if I said,"think of the color green." What do you do? You think of the color green. Control the direction of your thinking by continually thinking of what you want, not of what you don't want. If someone says to you,"now, don't be angry but..." What does your mind do? It immediately accesses being angry. Once again, it's too late.  My son used to spill his milk all the time. I was continually telling him," son, don't spill your milk!" What was I actually doing? I was ensuring he'd spill his milk. When I changed what I was saying to, "son, keep your milk in the glass unless you're drinking it." Amazingly, the spills stopped! The principle, get the mind to "do" something not "stop" doing something. Focus on what you really want, not on what you don't want. 

OUR BRAIN

               OUR BRAIN

I think it's safe to say that we all have a brain. I think we all also know of someone who causes us to wonder if they have a brain. Our brain operates according to some basic universal principles. When we are not directing our thoughts and running our own brain, our brain is being programmed  and run by someone or something else. Other people's comments may be running our brain, we may be continually reacting to their spoken expectations. Television and radio may be determining how we feel. It's as if someone else is driving our bus. They may have the best of intentions but they may not be driving where we want to go. It's time to take back control of your own life. We can do this by first learning how our brain works. Then applying the principles in our own lives. We can choose how to feel. We can decide to change a behavior. We can decide who and how we want to be and become that person. Over the next few days, I'll share some basic principles of how our brains work. You can test / apply them right away and experience the amazing results. It's time to drive your own bus!  It's time to start using our brains for a change. 

JUST THINKING

             JUST THINKING

The truth is that this is the moment when we are either enjoying our life or not enjoying our life. What we are thinking at this moment is creating a feeling within our body now, and our experience of life tomorrow. There is no "out there" that can cause us to suffer because everything that unfolds in our world is a projection of what is going on within. Our world is a mirror of what we think and feel on the inside. It's not the world that causes the stress we feel, it's our thoughts about it, the story we tell ourselves of how it is. 

Stress or anxiety doesn't really exist in the world, but a lot of people engage in stressful thinking. When we are tense, relaxed, happy or sad, we are "Just Thinking!"

MANAGING OUR THOUGHTS

MANAGING OUR THOUGHTS

Thought management is critical to making effective changes in our lives. Our thoughts are so powerful! If we don't manage our thoughts, our thoughts will manage us. Here are 7 ways to manage or control your thoughts. 

STOP

You are the boss, so as simple as this sounds, the first thing you can do is to send a command to yourself, say Stop (STOP!). A direct command, given with a firm order tone, will interrupt the behaviour, like stopping you in your track.

SWAP

You can replace a negative thought by a positive one; I like to do a double swap, so, not only swap one for another one, but swap one for 2 other ones. Keep a list of positive, happy, healthy, constructive thoughts, and swap away.

STORE / SHARE

You can store it AND this is only half of the strategy; remember, you do not want to store it, as in ignore it, you want to store it, and re-access later, by sharing it with a supportive person: a friend, a colleague, a coach, a mentor. Someone with an outside perspective, an objective one, who will help you move forward.

SWITCH

You can do something else: call a friend, watch a movie, go for a walk, a run… there are so many things you can do; here you want to select an activity that you can do straight away, once the negative thought comes in.

SHHH

You can go to sleep or meditate, to free your mind; you can either meditate on your own, in silence, or have your favourite music on, or thanks to a relaxation cd /track or, a visualisation, guiding you to think of something else and relax.

SPECULATE 

This comes from Dale Carnegie, who said in his How To Stop Worrying And Start Living book, “First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” So, ask, accept and proceed.

SCRIBE

You can start writing; from head to paper, write about what you are thinking to free your thinking place. Whatever is it that you are thinking as long as it stays in your head, it is a jumbo-mumbo mess (!), so write it down; and write it exactly as you are thinking it.

LET GO FOR CONTROL

LET GO FOR CONTROL

Another small and simple thing that makes a great difference is with the issue of control. When we seek success by controlling everything in our life and in every situation, we are actually making things more difficult. Constantly exerting control leads to tension and results in decreased quality of performance. Control isn't something we must do, it's something we allow. Here's the simple truth, the more we let go, the greater control we have. It sounds so wrong, even impossible. Small and simple things bring great things to pass. The key, the more we let go, the greater control we have. Rather than try and force a situation, allow it to be. Letting go brings more control. Loosen the grip on a weapon and your accuracy improves. The more you let go, the more control you have. All of our skills are much more efficient when approached with an attitude that allows rather than forces performance. The mantra one more time, the more we let go, the more we have control.